Tuesday, August 28, 2012

A Time To Mend

"A Time To Mend" by Sally John & Gary Smalley

A picture perfect marriage. A family that has it all together, a beautiful home and four wonderful children. But it isn't really picture perfect. Claire, the wife is tired of living the lies, she is tired of being silent. Sometimes healing begins with hurting and sometimes the truth just has to come out. I enjoyed this book. I thought it was written very well and gave lots of depth to the characters. "I'm tired of pretending things don't hurt. I'm tired of acting like I've got it all together. Of giving the impression that I feel safe and secure." Don't we all pretend? And doesn't it get old? We try so hard to appear we have it together but who really does? I think we all long to be more real and I think if we were all more real we would feel better about being real. I admit, I am so far from having it together and when I hear someone else admit it too I feel so much better. God wants us to be real and when we are real He can step in and heal. "But I realize I've tried my whole life to be perfect. And you know what? It hasn't worked." It doesn't work, nobody is perfect no matter how much we try and it is just exhausting trying anyway. Why is it so hard to just be ourselves, our messy, don't have it all together selves? "The secret your mother and I have learned is to make each other feel safe. So safe we don't have to hide anything. We can be mad, sad, happy, and say whatever we want, even if it's wrong, because we know nothing can kill our love for each other." Feeling safe to be who you are is priceless, especially in a marriage. If we can't be who we are with our spouse then who can we be our true selves with? That's the key, feeling safe to be who we are so we don't have to pretend we are perfect or have it all together. We all long for that safe place. The safest place of all to feel that is with God because He is perfect. The book has a happily ever after ending, in case you were wondering. Good read, real stuff, good advice.

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