The Things We Do For Love

"The Things We Do For Love" by Kristin Hannah

A story of three sisters from a loud Italian family whose beloved father passes away.  Angela was her father's pride and joy and left their small town for bigger things.  She comes back after his death when her marraige has ended due to the stress of not being able to have children.  Lauren lives with her alcoholic mother and is desperatly trying to make something of her life despite where she comes from.  Fate brings Angela and Lauren together where they fill the void each has carried in their hearts but this connection may just be their undoing.  "She'd focused so much on her own grief that his had become incidental."  I think often we are so hurt that we foget there is another person in the equation and they might be hurting also.  "Memories don't live on streets or in cities.  They flowed in the blood, pulsed with your heartbeat."  We move towns, change schools, leave our jobs all to be rid of memories forgetting that those memories follow us and are a part of us.  "The tears, she now knew, meant hope.  When your eyes dried up, there was none."  "Grief was like that; both she and Mama knew it well.  It would sometimes feel fresh, no matter how long she lived.  Some losses ran deep, and time moved too slowly in a lifetime to heal them completely."  I'm thankful for heaven where our grief will be no more.  "It was easy to love someone when life was uncomplicated."  It's when life throws its curveballs that loving becomes harder.  "Love can get us through the hardest times.  It can also be our hardest times."  "How could love demand so many sacrifices and survive?"  Love is sacrifice and when two people sacrifice it's a love that can't be broken.  "Sometimes your heart got  broken, but you just held on.  That was all there was."  Because love is worth the heartbreak.

Summer Island

"Summer Island" by Kristin Hannah

This was my least favorite of hers so far yet it was still a good book, I just liked her others better.  This was also one of her first books that she wrote.  The story follows two sisters and their mother who abandoned them.  Their mother, Nora, has since become famous in radio for her talk show on giving advice in relationships.  The oldest daughter is living the perfect high society life, forgetting her past and doing her best to move on.  The youngest daugher has never forgiven her mother and continues to run and struggle through her life.  An accident and a revealing of their past will bring all three of them together to reveal all that they lost and all that they didn't really know.  Spending a week together in their summer home the past comes back at them full force including the neighbor brothers who happen to be back in town at the same time.  "Motherhood is full of secret worries."  Ain't that the truth!  "I'm your father; she's your mother-whatever she's done or hasn't done, or said or hasn't said-she's a part of you and you're a part of her.  Don't you see that you can't be whole without her?"  I work with foster kids and it doesn't matter how much a child has been hurt by their parent they still love them.  Our parents make up a part of who we are, not all of us, but a part.  "There's no substitute for talking to the people you love.  Thinking about them, dreaming about them, wishing things were different...all of these are the beginning.  But someone has to make the first move."  Be brave, make the first move, you never know where it could lead.

Two By Two

"Two By Two" by Nicholas Sparks

Just another amazing story by Nicolas Sparks.  Seriously, how does he do it?  My husband got this book for me for my birthday to read on the plane to visit my aunt in Colorado.  He said I might need a distraction from being worried about flying solo. (He also gave me a chocolate bar, winner of a guy I tell ya.)  The story is of a man who has it all until one day, to his great surprise, it all crumbles.  His job is gone, his wife is leaving him, he has to move, and he has a daughter to care for.  Alone, raising his daughter, he is tested and finds the strength and love beyond what he could have imagined.  "Marriage, after all, is never quite what one imagines it will be.  It requires commitment and compromise, communication and cooperation, especially as life tends to throw curveballs, often when we least expect them.  Ideally, the curveball slides past the couple with little damage; at other times, facing those pitches together makes the couple more committed to each other.  But sometimes, the curveballs end up smacking us in the chest and close to the heart, leaving bruises that never seem to heal."    Marriage is full of surprises, life is really, it's what you choose to do with the surpirses that make or break a marriage.  Will you choose your spouse again and again?  Will you choose to see the best in them and overlook the irritations?  Will you show grace and love and forgiveness?  "That's what parenting is all about.  Doing the best you can while being terrified of screwing up."  My thoughts exactly.  "Hope might leave me crushed in the end, but losing all hope somehow seemed even worse."  For what do we have if we have no hope?  "We're all works in progress.  It's the definition of being a parent."  It's the definition of being a human, so show yourself and others grace. "But what I didn't understand until recently was that those tender, orchestrated moments mean nothering unless they occur with someone who loves you just the way you are."  For that is the greatest gift we can receive, being loved for exactly who we are.  This story was different in that the love story was mostly the love for his daughter.  I liked that Nicholas put a different spin on love than he normally does.

Leaving Before the Rains Come

"Leaving Before the Rains Come" by Alexandra Fuller

This was an interesting book and a different read than my normal.  I didn't realize till about 3/4 of the way through the book that the author was writing about her life.  It is about her life living in Africa and then marrying a man from Wyoming and how much her life changes after marraige and her move to the states.  It is a book with tragedy and overcoming that tragedy.  The book tells how drastically different life in Africa is compared with to life in the U.S.  "The problem with most people is that they want to be alive for as long as possible without having any idea whatsoever how to live."  It's so true, we all get lost sometimes and forget what living is really about.  We all get caught up in the supposed to's or have to's and forget the beauty of connection and family and love.   "...there is nothing like the profound loneliness of early motherhood to make a person ache to be embraced by their person of origin."  Motherhood makes us all long for our mothers I believe.  Those early days of motherhood can be scary and make you feel all alone.  Yet becoming a mother makes us appreciate the woman we call mom and forms a bond that wasn't previously there.  "Easy is just another way of knowing you aren't doing much in the way of your life."  God doesn't call us to easy and really most things that are worth while take work.  These are the times that we have to have the biggest faith, when things are hard.  It is when we see God work and truly feel Him.  I don't agree with all of this book but it was an intereting read and I liked learning more about Africa and life there.  I appreciated the authors look at tragedy and being willing to overcome.

The Lost Boy

"The Lost Boy" by Mike Rossman

My friends husband wrote this book.  I've been waiting a while for its release.  First I'm so proud of this couple for sharing their story.  It's not an easy story and it took courage.  God is woven throughout their story though and they believe, as do I, that their story will be used to encourage others.  Mike is a testimony that God relentlessly pursues His children.  Mike was abused as a child and because of this lead a life of drinking to cover the pain.  He was determined to drink himself to death to end the pain he could not escape from.  After many years and many losses Mike finally found freedom in Jesus.  This story is hard and sad but our God is a good God and I have seen firsthand the blessings He has given Mike and his beautiful family.  "I wanted to be free, but I was convinced freedom would not be mine."  I have felt this, thought maybe healing was not for me in this life.  This is such a hopeless place to be.  "He reminded me of what my childhood should have been but never was."  Mike had a son and he desperatly wanted to be a good father but had too much pain to be able to be the father he wanted to be. His son was a reminder of all that he had lost.  "The dysfunction resulting from sexual abuse was consistent-shattered lives made worse through addiction, broken relationships, job loss, and incarceration."  Sexual abuse severs the soul and only God can repair it.  "Now I know when I find Jesus in it, He can use my story to bring freedom to others."  And Jesus is in all of our stories and He wants to use our hard stories to grow us and to bless others.  I can accept things in my life if I know that they will be used, don't let my struggles and pain be for none.  This is an amazing book of redemption and of God being faithful.  It is encouraging to those of us who have struggled from the pain of abuse.  God is there and He does care and He will take our pain and turn it for our God if we let Him.

A Time To Mend

"A Time To Mend" by Sally John & Gary Smalley

A picture perfect marriage. A family that has it all together, a beautiful home and four wonderful children. But it isn't really picture perfect. Claire, the wife is tired of living the lies, she is tired of being silent. Sometimes healing begins with hurting and sometimes the truth just has to come out. I enjoyed this book. I thought it was written very well and gave lots of depth to the characters. "I'm tired of pretending things don't hurt. I'm tired of acting like I've got it all together. Of giving the impression that I feel safe and secure." Don't we all pretend? And doesn't it get old? We try so hard to appear we have it together but who really does? I think we all long to be more real and I think if we were all more real we would feel better about being real. I admit, I am so far from having it together and when I hear someone else admit it too I feel so much better. God wants us to be real and when we are real He can step in and heal. "But I realize I've tried my whole life to be perfect. And you know what? It hasn't worked." It doesn't work, nobody is perfect no matter how much we try and it is just exhausting trying anyway. Why is it so hard to just be ourselves, our messy, don't have it all together selves? "The secret your mother and I have learned is to make each other feel safe. So safe we don't have to hide anything. We can be mad, sad, happy, and say whatever we want, even if it's wrong, because we know nothing can kill our love for each other." Feeling safe to be who you are is priceless, especially in a marriage. If we can't be who we are with our spouse then who can we be our true selves with? That's the key, feeling safe to be who we are so we don't have to pretend we are perfect or have it all together. We all long for that safe place. The safest place of all to feel that is with God because He is perfect. The book has a happily ever after ending, in case you were wondering. Good read, real stuff, good advice.

A Time To Embrace

                                            "A Time To Embrace" by Karen Kingsbury

This is the sequel to A Time To Dance. After almost getting a divorce, finding their way back to each other, tragedy strikes. Can the couple who have already been through so much survive the biggest blow to their marriage yet? "The girls you're looking at belong to someone, too. They're someones sister, someones daughter. Someones mother, in many cases. Someones future wife. Why is it okay to treat them that way? That's the first lie; that a woman is merely a body." In the book the son is dealing with some pornography issues. The dad confronts his son and I love what is said. Those woman belong to someone and we are so much more than our bodies. "Because we forgot about being intimate. We stopped talking and sharing our hearts with each other. We let life and busy schedules rule our relationship, and because of that we almost walked away from a love that, other than God's, is greater than any I know." How easy it is to let life get too busy and take us away from the things and people that really matter. "It was crucial that she see the truth-that any marriage could be saved so long as both people were willing to hear God's voice above their own." Key: hearing God's voice above our own. Oh how hard that is sometimes. We are such selfish beings. We have a right to be mad, we have a right to feel what we feel, we have a right to do what we want. Soon we are hearing so much of our own voice God's is drowned out. "Sometimes love makes a mistake. Even a series of mistakes. When I married John, I promised to love him in good times and bad. No matter what happened." When bad happens we forget those vows and we forget often that if the roles were reversed we would want our spouse to love us through those bad times. It isn't easy, never is, but with God it is possible. "Pride. It's why Adam and Eve took the apple-because they thought they were smarter than God. They wanted to be like God. And it's why good couples start going in different directions and wind up believing divorce is the only solution. When really, the only solution is to grab tight to each other, forgive, and go on."

A Time To Dance

"A Time To Dance" by Karen Kingsbury

Another great one by Karen Kingsbury.  She never disappoints as far as I'm concerned.  This book is about a marriage on the brink of divorce.  The happy, Godly, have-it-all couple is falling apart and no one knows it, not even their three children.  Their lives became hectic, they each did their own thing and before they knew it they were strangers sleeping in separate rooms with not a thing in common.  "It can never be better to divorce, Abby.  Never.  That's a lie from the pit of hell; mark my words."  I think it is the grass is greener in the other pasture kind of mentality and sometimes we don't know what we have till its gone.  It divorce is from the pit of hell, Satan's way of breaking apart what God destined for forever.  "There will always be naysayers, son.  The key is to listen to God's calling.  If you're doing that, then everyone else's opinion amounts to little more than hot air."  Oh if we could only all take this to heart.  What matter is the Voice of Truth, be still and listen.  "Maybe that's why God asked couples to wait.  So they could learn to love each other.  Because over the years it would take that kind of love to make their relationship a beautiful thing."  It takes more than physical love to make it through life's trials and learning to love like that is priceless and long lasting.  "She was losing this-her family's ability to grieve together, to suffer life's dark and desperate times under the strength of her husband.  In a few months she would be on her own, forced to shoulder every major setback and milestone by herself."  Oh the strength of a family.  I do not know how I would have gotten through some things without my husband and girls.  God intends for this community to not be broken, to not be alone through trials.  "I don't care if it kills me; I want to love you like an eagle loves his mate.  Like the Lord wants me to love you.  Holding on until death makes me finally let go." "Fight for your marriages friends.  Pray for wisdom and Godly counsel; seek God and find a way back to the place where love began, a place where love can begin again."  Such a good book with such good truths.  It truly is never too late.

The Heart of Rachael

"The Heart of Rachael" by Kathleen Thompson Norris

This book is about a woman who finds herself married for all the wrong reasons. She has stuck it out for 7 years and decides to get a divorce. She then falls in love again and realizes that marriage is what you put into it and it is never easy. She ends up risking it all to save her second marriage and comes to terms with her part for the first marriage failing. It took a few chapters to get into this book but once it got going it was good. "She had not expected to be happy in this house, she had expected to be rich and envied, and secure, and she was all of these things. That they were not worth attaining, no one knew better than Rachael now." Rachael married for all these things and came to find out the hard way how much they were really worth, nothing at all. "We are not perfect ourselves,' said the clergyman benevolently, 'yet we expect perfection in others. Before we will even change our own lives we look around and see what other people are doing." Isn't this so true? So easy to judge others rather than look at what we might change in ourselves. "But she said to herself that she knew now the worst evil of divorce. She knew that it coarsened whomever it touched, that it irresistibly degraded, that it lowered all the human standard of goodness and endurance, and self-sacrifice. However justified, it was an evil; however properly consummated, it soiled the little group it affected." I can't think of a better way to describe divorce or its affects. "It's the one vow we take with God as witness; and no blessing ever follows a broken vow!" "It cannot be reconciled to law; it defies law. Right on the face of it, it is breaking a contract. Are any other contracts to be broken with public approval?" I thought it was an interesting explanation of divorce and how are society does it so easily. "Life is mistakes, after all, and paying for them, and doing better next time." Yes, there are consequences for our mistakes but there is always a next time to do better. "The wonder of marriage came to her, the miracle of love rooted too deep for disturbance, of love fed on faults as well as virtues; so light a tie in the beginning, so powerful a bond as the years go by." I remember thinking I couldn't love Matthew more than when I did on the day we married but as you go through life together, all the ups and downs, good things and disappointments the bond grows deeper and the love stronger.