Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Bad (Good) Mother

"Bad -Good- Mother" by Aylet Waldman

Let me start out by saying don't read this, don't waste your time. I actually can't believe that I kept reading but when I pick up a book I have to finish, even when it isn't worth my time. The author is from Berkeley and she is everything you think of when you think of Berkeley, everything. All that said there were a few good chapters. The book is about how us mothers struggle with being "good" mothers. How everything we do is looked at as bad or good depending on who you ask. This is why I picked up the book, I struggle with the good mom bad mom syndrome daily. One chapter talks about how men do "men" jobs around the house and women do "women" jobs. I like this quote that says why she thinks this happens. "By surrendering certain skills, you are affirming your belief that the other person will remain there to care for you in that way." We all want to be taken care of in some way or another and by letting him take out the garbage we know he will be there to do it forever. I like that. Another chapter I liked was about what kind of mothers we think we will be and then what kind of mothers we really end up being. My world was rocked by my two girls and I can honestly say I never thought I would do/be some of the things that I have done/been. She says, "There are times as a parent when you realize that your job is not to be the parent you always imagined you'd be, the parent you always wished you had. Your job is to be the parent your child needs, given the particulars of his or her own life and nature." In other words, set aside your ideals and train your child the way they should go. Good stuff, stuff to live by.

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